Hadrian, Roman Emperor (AD 117-38)

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Emperor Hadrian’s boyfriend. Hadrian had him deified after his death

Born in Rome but of Spanish descent, Hadrian was adopted by the emperor Trajan (reigned AD 98-117) as his successor.

Having served with distinction on the Danube and as governor of Syria, Hadrian never lost his fascination with the empire and its frontiers. Previous emperors had been content to remain at Rome in peacetime. Hadrian, however, travelled throughout the empire for nearly half his reign, building temples, baths and libraries wherever he went.

At Tivoli, to the east of Rome, he built an enormous palace, a microcosm of all the different places he had visited. He was an enthusiastic public builder, and perhaps his most celebrated building is the Pantheon, the best preserved Roman building in the world. Hadrian’s Wall is a good example of his devotion to Rome’s frontiers and the boundaries he established were retained for nearly three hundred years.

Hadrian openly displayed his love of Greek culture. Some of the senate scornfully referred to him as Graeculus (‘the Greekling’). He sported a beard, until then almost exclusively a Greek fashion and was well-versed in Greek culture and philosophy. Hadrian made his male lover, Antinous, a god after his mysterious death in the River Nile. His confidence sometimes became overbearing. For example, the architect Apollodorus of Damascus was banished and eventually murdered for refusing to agree to Hadrian’s plans.

Hadrian fell seriously ill, perhaps with a form of dropsy (swelling caused by excess fluid), and retired to the seaside resort of Baiae on the bay of Naples, where he died in AD 134.

Source: http://www.britishmuseum.org/explore/highlights/article_index/h/hadrian,_roman_emperor_ad_117.aspx

They went out of the room into a big squared place that used to be a garden, when spring and summer ruled. At that time, the naked branches moved the way the wind blew.

-However, Nerva, you have to be honest with me. I told you yesterday that you have to trust me. I mean it. As I already said I am convinced that it was Cornelius’s idea to kidnap Julia. I don’t know his reasons. What I know is that he tries to become a senator as his brother, Julius. He came to Britannia a couple years ago. His legionnaires underrate the level of skills needed in the army. We won’t get support in our campaign against the offenders from the North, because the Emperor Hadrian needs troops in his Dacian Wars. We have to defend the empire with remedies we have. I can’t count on Cornelius and his soldiers. They’re just cannon fodder. However, Cornelius sends Julia back to Julius. It looks as if Julius started gathering his powers and backtrack from Britannia. I don’t like it. Therefore, I don’t want her to leave the island. It doesn’t matter whether she will stay here as my guest or whether she welcomes me in Eboracum, where her husband is. I wanted to visit him already weeks ago. I’ve heard a lot about him. I wanted to meet him personally.

-Why do you tell it to me? – Nerva wondered and it camouflaged his insecurity as he listened to Pompeius’s plan of visit.

-Because I am a real friend of Appius and you really are Appius’s soldier. – Pompeius answered and noticed that Nerva wasn’t comfortable with something. He assumed that Nerva didn’t like Maxentius and didn’t feel good by sending the girl back to her husband. – I think that the plenty of Appius’s soldiers were here lately due to Julia’s husband. Apparently, he’s not only a very interesting person for me. Appius keeps him in sight as well. There has to be reason for it.

Nerva swallowed heavily, but didn’t comment anything.

-Take Julia from the Fabii family and go back to the camp. You can get my horses. I will send a message to Appius and to her father that she comes to him after my visit in Eboracum. Expect me in two or three weeks. I have here a riddle to solve. I’ll keep Cornelius here for a week with celebrations and social life he misses so much. Have an eye at the girl and at her husband. If you wish to send your own messages, my messengers can overtake the delivery.

-With all due respect, I thank you for the offer, however, I can’t accept it.

-Of course, you will use your own horses and you’ll send your own messenger. That’s the school of Appius. – Pompeius smiled with respect in his eyes.

Nerva nodded and wanted to give back the ring.

-Keep it and use it wisely, when you need my help.

Nerva saluted and left the cold garden. As he came to the street, he steadied his back on a wall of a house some streets further and breathed heavily. Then, he drifted along for a longer while to check whether he was followed by anyone. As he was sure, he hadn’t any followers, he attentively came back to Philo. The satyr brought him to Julia. She sat with bounded hands and a small bruise on her wrists. Nerva wanted to kill Philo in the moment he saw Julia captured that way. He lifted the small man up and within seconds, Philo’s face became red.

-No, Nerva! No! – Julia screamed as she saw what was happening. – It’s my fault. I didn’t trust him. He said you will come back, but I thought he lied. I tried to escape, so he bounded me. – Julia explained shortly.

Nerva put Phil down and excused himself for the purpose he had. Phil breathed heavily and didn’t like amused.

-Nerva, you bastard. I did what you said. – He said angry and bumpily while trying to get a normal breath.

-Philo… – Nerva wasn’t able to justify anything.

The satyr came to Julia and with a small knife, he cut through the rope around her wrists. She tried to relax her hands after hours of lacking motion. She stood up and jumped to Nerva. He hugged her and Phil shook his head with fury.

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He got the illuminative impression that the more he tried to run away the more troubles were combined with the escape. It was obvious that he had to accept the circumstances.

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Hadrian’s Wall, England constructed in 122 AD to mark the northern border of the Roman Empire in Britain, the wall stretched across the width of Great Britain just south of the present day border with Scotland

Nerva was used to be on the run in a chaotic, energetic way. Usually, he was the messenger of really good or totally bad news. He was trained to be a fighter, but he didn’t have any occasion to prove himself in any combat until he settled down in Eboracum. Appius used to say that Nerva had to focus on the tasks of great responsibility. Bringing the news and being a communication channel had the same high priority as swinging the sword on a battlefield. However, the training hours were part of Nerva’s exercises. Being a messenger was risky as well. Appius was sure that Nerva had to be prepared for any kind of action, reaction, decision. On the long trips, Nerva visited many different places and didn’t graft his soul anywhere. He wasn’t like a planted tree that knew where its roots were. He was like the seeds from an orchid family that are generally blown off like dust particles or spores after ripening. Nerva was here and there, but he had no home to return to. Most soldiers preferred a place or a chosen location to call their home. Nerva didn’t. He loved to be in motion, from one point to another. He loved small talks. He loved new faces and scratching the surface of the world. He didn’t feel related to places, but he felt connected to people. His relation to Appius and Octavian was Nerva’s only point of reference. Octavian and he were like brothers. Appius and he were like the master and scholar. With Marcus Lucius he started building a strong friendship.

In Britannia, through the daily routine including riding the same routes and looking at the same trees, frozen bayous and other elements of the surrounding, Nerva discovered that being in one place could calm you down and bring some rest into the soul. However, he needed some days to settle down his thoughts and doubts. Only then, a kind of unknown, but welcomed silence flew through him. He understood this the evening, he got wounded. He inveighed against the entire world and was close to snapping any moment. It wasn’t the pain in the body that annoyed him so much. It was the awareness of being captured in a rainy, unhappy, immutable place, the furthest, the less interesting part of the empire instead of having a talk here or there. Nerva noticed that Marcus Lucius had killed the rest of the offenders and in the moment, when the little fight was over, Marcus Lucius changed from the enormously fast, active, outstanding warrior into a calm, peaceful man watching the sunset at the horizon. Nerva looked in the same direction and the last sun rays brought a new thought: the place was impressive with its masterfully synchronized colours of the sky, woods and the road ahead.

When Marcus Lucius stitched him later that night, Nerva felt good for the very first time. He calmed down after he drunk a sea of wine. Actually, he wanted to drink to forget his thoughts, instead, he made peace with the situation. He got the illuminative impression that the more he tried to run away the more troubles were combined with the escape. It was obvious that he had to accept the circumstances. He hadn’t forced himself to like it, but he could learn to tolerate it. It was a step into a good direction.

Continuous ups and downs used to give him adrenaline shocks in the blood. He liked the kick, because it distracted him from thoughts coming from the deepest corner of the heart. During the two weeks with Marcus Lucius, a special kind of inner peace established itself in his soul. He started paying attention to the dark, gloomy, but calm places around him that became the perfect environment for him. Just the rain ruined the idealistically sombre climate.

Nerva wasn’t informed how long the delay with Julia’s travel should take. Marcus Lucius hadn’t explained anything – neither directly after the talk with Cornelius, nor in the following two weeks. Marcus Lucius said he wanted to talk with Julia later, and “later” was so undefined that it could take years before a talk would take place. Marcus Lucius looked tired, sad, as if he would be forced to carry a heavy load on his shoulders. Nerva felt it through his sleekly rough skin. From the very beginning, from the day he came back from a journey that never took place, Marcus Lucius asked Nerva to stay in Britannia. He didn’t define any tasks, he didn’t describe anything, he simply expressed a question that had to be answered with something like “Yes, I do” or even “Of course, I do”. Marcus Lucius didn’t have any right to decree anything, but his appearance forced Nerva to behave friendly and stay supportive. When Nerva asked which kind of help was needed, Marcus Lucius shook his head with refusal. When Nerva asked whether he had to go to Appius, Marcus Lucius refused again.

-I need you here. We’ll wait for Octavian to come back with news and advice from Appius. Then, we’ll decide what to do next. We have a month for trainings and patrols.

Octavian wasn’t satisfied with Marcus Lucius’s efforts and found it too strenuously to exercise so soon with fresh wounds. However, he accompanied Marcus Lucius who was determined to start exercising

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Hadrians Wall, Northumberland, England

At first, he took walks. Octavian wasn’t satisfied with Marcus Lucius’s efforts and found it too strenuously to exercise so soon with fresh wounds. However, he accompanied Marcus Lucius who was determined to start exercising. Together, they walked towards the woods, then they went along the line of trees. Finally, they reached the moors in Southern North. They changed direction and went some hundred meters towards the West and came back to the villa from the North-Western side. They were followed by three or four of Cornelius’s legionnaires, even though they kept their distance.

At first the walk took the whole day due to many pauses. In the first days they walked for almost twenty to twenty five kilometres. Octavian niggled every time they left the mansion and it was rather a sign of care than complaining about exertions. For him, the walks were rather a nice diversion or supplement to the normal trainings. Nerva, if he was in the villa, took it more easy and with humour. Therefore, Marcus Lucius preferred to go out with Nerva. They could talk every now and then, but mostly, they just savoured the silence of woods and the green, wet nature around them.

Later, Marcus Lucius wanted to discuss this and that with Octavian. There were so many possibilities to talk about so many things. But instead, they kept silent and Octavian breathed heavily, because he was slightly offended by the fact that Marcus Lucius didn’t listen to anyone. Marcus Lucius’s wounds could break open easily after too much exercise. At the beginning his breath was regular but started being irregular when they reached the tenth kilometre. His hands weren’t sweaty, but his back was wet and he could get easily cold or catch a fever or chest symptoms. However, pneumonia was regarded as “the captain of the men of death” by William Osler in the 19th century only. In Roman times, it wasn’t known that infectious agents include bacteria, viruses, fungi, and parasites. There was no antibiotic therapy that radically improved the survival of infections. There were undefined, invisible, moody gods, who decided spontaneously who would survive and who would die. It was like in today’s third world that pneumonia remained a leading cause of death no matter of the age. Octavian didn’t raise the topic of death rates and more care about the own health, because it wasn’t supportive to Marcus Lucius. Therefore, Octavian was totally unsatisfied about the trips they made.

Normally, he would appreciate the walks through woods, because it was indeed relaxing and kept him in shape. He didn’t like to be involved in the first line of attack on the battlefield. He rather stayed at the back and waited for the last offenders, who would break the lines of defence. It wasn’t easy to stay calm and look powerful when the soldiers you knew were fighting. He was seen as the last man standing.

Then, he didn’t like the Britannia. He preferred the warm lands of the Roman Empire. There, he could sleep during the nights without needing a blanket. There, he could eat meat the way he loved it. Britannia was just good for two reasons. One, he appreciated the trust of Appius. This mission was the best proof that Octavian was the solid, reliable man, he always wanted to be. Two, he was close to Julia. He was entranced by her from the very first moment he saw her. She was Appius’s guest, who practically hosted an old friend and new husband in one person. Octavian heard some stories about Maxentius’s miserable army career. There was a story that Maxentius held a sword like a girl. There was another story that Maxentius was scared to death when he was supposed to go to his first battle. When Octavian saw Maxentius for the very first time, he noticed the extremely tender, but wrinkled skin of a man, who dabbled with battles, but had enough power to beat a weak and defenceless being. Octavian had already seen beaten women, while they rested as a team in different places. He noticed women visiting their man, soldiers, who were stationed in camps, and overreacting after days or weeks of broken contact to their families. Octavian observed how much these women suffered in silence, how their eyes became dashed off and how their moves lost the vigorous dynamic. The same symptoms, he noticed with Julia. She still had a kind of fire, but it wasn’t a fire that could burn for ages. Instinctively, he wanted to protect her. His first reflex was to kill the man, who was supposed to watch over his own wife. Affected by unexpected emotions, Octavian got shaky hands. He noticed that Appius registered the tension, but not the reason behind it. Sending Octavian as the leader of the convoy to Britannia could have two different explanations. Either Appius knew what really happened in Octavian’s mind and wanted to him to learn a lesson or Appius knew that of all soldiers, Octavian would fulfil his task with the strongest motivation. Either way, it showed Appius’s trust in Octavian.

After a month, the walk took just the half the time and Marcus Lucius started his first trainings in the back yard, when he came back to villa after noon. The signs of autumn were already present outside and it wasn’t clever to leave the villa for a longer while, if it wasn’t necessary. The days became shorter and the amount of water in the air increased. It was too unpleasant outside. The danger of slipping combined with the probability of the wounds getting worse was too high. For that reason, Marcus Lucius shortened the march distance and spent more time in the inner yard, where he trained at least three hours a day. Octavian welcomed it.

An air of nervousness and insecurity was around during the entire afternoon. Marcus Lucius didn’t agree to the plan until Julia asked him to trust her.

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House of the Tragic Poet, Pompeii

Marcus Lucius briefly flinched a bit, but long enough to raise suspicion. The old commander didn’t comment anything. It wasn’t necessary. Then, he added surprisingly:

-Julius didn’t tell me much about you.

Marcus Lucius was almost sure that the idea of pretending to be Maxentius was a complete flop. He was sure that the hint was a part of a series of checks to identify and confirm the real nature. Apparently, the puzzles of information that Cornelius had about Maxentius didn’t match.

-Everyone says it to me. – Marcus Lucius lied without batting an eye. – It’s the marriage, I guess.

Cornelius seemed to be relieved and somewhat happy about how the situation developed. Marcus Lucius judged that he was convincing enough. He couldn’t remember Maxentius at all. He saw a dead, bloody body dressed according the status of a noble, Roman man. There hadn’t been enough time to look at the details and then, Marcus Lucius was too injured. He had never spoken about Maxentius with Julia or Appius’s soldiers. It came to his mind only in the moment when Cornelius marked his hands. Marcus Lucius regretted that he didn’t take it into consideration. It could disturb the entire plan. After waiting a moment, Marcus Lucius had the feeling that Cornelius was all right. He couldn’t be sure about it, but his intuition that saved him from getting killed for years told him quietly to trust that Cornelius accepted the remark as being true.

Fortunately, the statement didn’t have any consequences. However, it was a bad sign and Marcus Lucius didn’t want to risk nothing else. With an unsettled look, he went through the main room of the house, a broad, stony lobby, and gazed at Octavian every now and then. They didn’t exchange a word, but they were both edgy.

Julia stepped into the room covered in a blanket and with question marks in her eyes.

-How did it go? – She asked and Octavian summarized the meeting with Cornelius.

She hardly remembered the uncle, who was in Britannia for years already. As far as she knew, Cornelius rather stayed in Londonium, where he could easily take a ship and travel to Rome anytime. Octavian explained to her that Maxentius was supposed to take the leadership in Eboracum and Cornelius was there only temporary. The last tribune in Eboracum was killed in fights with local warriors. Generally, it was a safe area, but every now and then, some dangerous groups from North Britannia attacked Southern Britannia. Eboracum and Deva were the last camps located at the farthest ends of the empire. They marked the border and were left at the mercy of the more or less peaceful attitude of Barbarians.

Julia shook her head, but nobody was able to understand what she really thought. As she heard the suggestion to prepare a dinner for her uncle, she stepped back two steps, as if her insecurity pushed her away from the place she stood in. She was more scared of her uncle coming into her house than the Barbarians that could attack any moment. Cornelius’s presence was more perceptible in that moment. However, she understood the solemnity. After a moment of consideration, she spoke quietly with a trembling voice:

-So, we’ll prepare the dinner. My uncle wasn’t present during the wedding, so he doesn’t know how Maxentius looked like.

-Still, his soldiers could recognize Marcus Lucius, because he looks similar to his father. Maximus spent many years in Britannia and it’s probable that one of Cornelius’s guards will find out about our masquerade.

Wearing a helmet in the lobby would raise too many questions. Additionally, nobody knew how to cover Marcus Lucius’s face. Bandages were allowed, but inconvenient. The creepiness of the situation couldn’t get worse in Julia’s eyes. She had to put her mask of political correctness on and behave properly.

-The only solution is having the dinner without Marcus Lucius. – Julia spoke aloud what nobody dared to say. – When he won’t be here, he won’t be recognized.

Octavian wasn’t convinced. Finally, Marcus Lucius was bandaged the same way he appeared at Cornelius’s. Octavian wasn’t sure whether the meeting was a good idea. Too many bad consequences could follow and Octavian wasn’t happy about it. He niggled:

-How do we explain it all to Cornelius?

-I simply say that the way up to here and today’s talk was too exhausting for my husband. It’s probable enough, isn’t it?

Marcus Lucius and Octavian kept silence. The first convinced man seemed to be Marcus Lucius.

-It is. If it won’t work, then we have to prepare an alternative plan. – Marcus Lucius said. – And don’t forget the wine. I send a slave to bring as much wine as possible. Cornelius’s glass should not get empty.

An air of nervousness and insecurity was around during the entire afternoon. Marcus Lucius didn’t agree to the plan until Julia asked him to trust her. He wasn’t sure whether she was right, but she insisted to follow her plan. Marcus Lucius was able to fight against the entire world, but he wasn’t able to start a fight with the girl. She had a strange kind of power that didn’t allow him to oppose her. He would stop her, if her arguments wouldn’t be powerful enough. Her short speech was logical and rational. There was no emotional issue. It was imposing.

-How good do you know your uncle? – He asked her.

-I don’t know him at all. I heard about him. My father told some stories, but nothing worth mentioning it. – She answered slowly and using all words with purpose.

She sounded strange as if she would be far, far away with her thoughts. Marcus Lucius didn’t intend to push her. She told him the truth and it was crucial. He left her alone. She didn’t notice it at first. As she brought up her father, she became nervous. She wasn’t sure what to think about him. She wanted to be sure that Julius had given her to Maxentius with good intentions and not knowing how awful man Maxentius was. Finally, it was her father, a person whom she used to trust and she used to look up to him as if he was a kind of god. His decision was confusing and Julia struggled internally.

The more people were involved, the more probable leaks became. There was no space for misunderstandings and doubts due to the well-informed circle of people involved in the matter.

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The Ionic and Doric styles formed the basis of the ancient Greek costumes

While he stared at Julia sitting on the floor of the trembling wagon, he started losing his consciousness. The surrounding became blurry, shifted out of focus. Instead of a sad, but still friendly face of Julia, he saw a skin coloured taint with dark strains of hair around it, with light blue speck instead of an average stola, a long, pleated dress, worn over an undergarment called a tunic. It was the traditional garment of Roman women and corresponded to the male toga or the pallium. Julia wore a version with sleeves and ribbons decorated with dainty ornaments. Marcus Lucius wasn’t able to see the tiny little patterns anymore. The patterns made the dress unique and showed the high value of it. Seeing the blurry spots, the dress looked ordinary, like Decima’s dress.

He didn’t feel the sweat drops on his forehead and his neck. He didn’t feel neither warmth nor coldness anymore. Having lost his senses, he wasn’t aware how Octavian argued with Julia. It was right after the moment Julia noticed Marcus Lucius’s mental absence. She screamed after Octavian, she wanted him to come back into the wagon and “do something” that could help Marcus Lucius to get better. She yelled Octavian’s name, because Appius ordered her to communicate just with Octavian or Nerva. Nerva was the messenger, who brought letters from Appius, quoted Appius’s utterances and Octavian’s statements. Nerva was always on the run, barely to meet. When he caught up with the convoy during the following weeks, the first thing he had to do was take a rest, he never kept the guard in the first night. He was full of sweat drops, but he smiled, somehow friendly. Whenever he saw Julia, he stopped to talk to her and nodded with his head to greet her. He was apparently quite popular, because everyone wanted to talk with him. He had fleeting talks with every soldier on his way. Julia wondered what they were talking about. He was direct and open, the total opposite of Octavian, the leader of the convoy, the one at the side of Julia and Marcus Lucius on the way to Britannia. Octavian was a tall, well-built legionnaire with blond, short hair and no smile on his lips. When he walked into the room, you could feel his cold, impersonal presence. He had deep ice-blue eyes and was of about the age of Marcus Lucius. He used only as many words as needed and didn’t make use of empty phrases nor as magic words like “with all due respect” or “thank you”. He was in charge of the convoy after the Maxentius’s guards were wounded and unable to travel. With an iron hand, he gave orders to stop or to travel on. It was not possible to judge how much he liked the position he got. He talked more with other legionnaires, mostly with soldiers from Appius’s team. The new guards of the convoy were a mix of Maxentius’s soldiers and legionnaires sent by Appius. Therefore, you could see various groups gathering during the evenings in front of a small fire place, who wished to keep watch together. There were more than twenty legionnaires, but just one of them was the direct contact person for Julia.

Between all legionnaires, Octavian and Nerva were the two most trusted persons of Appius. Some of the other legionnaires were from the unit trained by him, but they weren’t involved in the matter and according to the order it should stay this way. The more people were involved, the more probable leaks became. There was no space for misunderstandings and doubts due to the well-informed circle of people involved in the matter. Appius wanted to keep the secret circle closed and therefore, the entire communication should be over predefined persons. Therefore, Julia screamed Octavian’s name as she bowed over unconscious the Marcus Lucius.

Hearing her scream, Octavian stepped into the wagon immediately. Julia wondered how he managed to act so fast, but it didn’t concern her as much as the unconsciousness of Marcus Lucius. Additionally, the wound on his chest started bleeding and the bandages turned dangerously, suspiciously red. Octavian jumped over to Marcus Lucius. He pushed Julia aside, ripped off the bandages and looked briefly at the wounds. They had already been treated by a medico on the way, so Octavian knew that it was the last moment to use the old, reviewed methods.

Within heartfelt minutes, Octavian arranged the entire convoy to stop. Then, he waited until the camp fire was hot enough to heat an iron spear up until it glowed red. Marcus Lucius stayed in his bed and didn’t change his position. Julia stared, opened her mouth shocked to the glowing iron in Octavian’s hands. Behind him, two further soldiers followed. She was scared, but stepped into Octavian’s way and tried to prevent him from what he apparently intended to do.

Book sample: There was a special code between the two of them. Maybe it was due to the fact that they both learned under the command of Appius.

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Old Roman Light House

When they arrived at Gesoriacum (also Bononia), a Roman port city on the English Channel important for Classis Britannica, where Caligula stayed over, before he travelled to the island, Julia saw a light house built based on directions of Caligula. Julia had already seen some port cities in her life, but she was always impressed by the great architecture and technical progress of the Romans.

When Octavian stepped into the wagon, Julia retreated to the furthest corner as she usually did. He was convinced that she was scared of him and he didn’t intend to hurt her at all. He noticed some bruises on her arms that she got after he pushed her away twice, and he was ashamed of it. He didn’t apologize, because he simply couldn’t find suitable words. However, Julia wasn’t scared, but rather ashamed that she wasn’t able to say Octavian how sorry she was for her silly resistance.

This time, there was no routine in Octavian’s acting. He stayed in the middle of the wagon watching Marcus Lucius sleep.

-We’ll go to the ship directly. – He said silently.

-A ship? – She seemed to be worried.

-Yes, it’s the fastest way to get to Eboracum. – Octavian confirmed and started at her curiously. He wondered what scared her more: he or the suggested means of transport. – If we would stay here, on the land, we would have to stay in the camp over night. The probability that we could be demasked is higher here. On the ship, you’ll get a cabin and have your privacy. Ina few minutes, my men will come here and you’ll get a litter carried by local slaves. We’ll put Marcus Lucius on it and you’ll get the second litter.

Octavian’s had a determined look, but not as cold as usually. Julia wondered what happened to him in the last days.

-I don’t need a special litter. I’ll go next to him.

Octavian wasn’t happy about it, but he didn’t intend to argue with her. He nodded once and stepped closer to Marcus Lucius. Within seconds, he woke the wounded man up and described the situation to him. Marcus Lucius showed his understanding of the plan.

-Are you doing better? – Octavian asked quietly, almost too quiet for Julia to hear.

Marcus Lucius nodded slightly. There was a special code between the two of them. Maybe it was due to the fact that they both learned under the command of Appius. Maybe it was just a sign of their special predisposition to understand each other.

Julia stood just a few steps away and didn’t understand the communication between them. She waited for the litter and then, as it was brought, she observed how Octavian helped to lift Marcus Lucius and shift him on the litter. Then he came to Julia and took her widest ribbon away. She wondered whether she should start struggling or let Octavian do what he wanted to do. As he went away with the ribbon, she was confused. She wanted an explanation, and got it in form of his action. Octavian put the ribbon on Marcus Lucius’s head and covered his face with it. The material was transparent enough to let him breath, but it didn’t allow strangers and uninitiated people recognise the face. Even though the litter had a kind of baldachin protecting Marcus Lucius from the unknown witnesses, Octavian wanted to double the protection. It wasn’t just about the one wounded man, but about possible collateral damages involving many people, who were important to Octavian.

He, personally, accompanied the litter to the ship and noticed how insecure Julia’s steps became the closer she came to the water. It was possible that nobody else noticed her tentativeness, but Octavian saw the girl already a couple of times in different situations and was able to judge whether she felt good or not while doing something. Even if he was just few meters away from her, he was able to feel her tension.

Therefore, he wondered what happened next. As Julia’s fragility increased and her legs became shaky just some centimetres in front of the wooden, provisory bridge between the ship and the land, a hand came out of the material curtain of the litter’s baldachin. The strong, determined fingers grasped Julia’s dainty hand. Marcus Lucius hold her carefully, but decisively. She wasn’t able to see his face, she wasn’t able to speak with him, but they communicated in the most secret way every human being could use: it was intuition and empathy. Or, you could say it was Marcus Lucius’s highly developed, sharp sense of observation.

The moment of cheerfulness was over. The seriousness came back to the room.

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Sorrento, Italy

 

After a short talk, they disappeared into the woods and Marcus Lucius waited a while before he turned to Julia and politely but decisively ordered to ride back. She nodded automatically, without deliberating. Within seconds, he sat directly behind Julia on Hiberus. Hiberus stayed mostly calm since that stranger, who tried to steal him, was killed by Marcus Lucius. The spontaneous and strange meeting with the people from the woods didn’t impress the animal at all.

Then, Marcus Lucius clapped on the horse’s neck and they started riding back to Eboracum. The way seemed to be shorter than before. Julia felt the wind on her face and it wasn’t pleasant. It whipped her strongly and she had to cry. She felt that Marcus Lucius was tense but quiet. Hiberus was galloping so fast that the girl thought the animal was almost flying. It didn’t seem like the wished for flight on a Pegasus. She wanted to go back to Italy, where the air was warmer and people were friendlier.

As they returned, Marcus Lucius was still quiet and if Julia knew him better, she would have even described him as a bit nervous. He accompanied her quickly to her chamber and went out. Julia followed him secretly and saw how he shortly talked to Nerva. Nerva nodded hastily and seemed to be worried. Then, Nerva went to another part of the villa, apparently searching for Octavian, and Marcus Lucius turn around to come back to Julia.

When she saw this she quickly went back to the chamber. She didn’t want him to know that she followed him. She was fast: she ran like thunder to be in her room before Marcus Lucius. She didn’t mind the bruises she got while she hooked twice on columns. Hastily, but with a lucky smile, she landed on her bed with a rapidly moving chest. She was tired and tried to make an innocent impression when Marcus Lucius stepped into the room again.

-You need to rest. – She said.

He gave her a short look and noticed her excitement, but he didn’t comment on it. She was sure that she tricked him, so she smiled brighter, satisfied. He didn’t want to upset her right now. She needed a cheerful moment, during such hard days.

Instead of coming to her, Marcus Lucius stared at her and stayed like a sculpture for a longer while. Her smile vanished and he went to the heavy, wooden desk and sat down at the table next to the massive piece of furniture. The moment of cheerfulness was over. The seriousness came back to the room. He laid his arms on the desk’s surface and seemed to be completely absorbed in thoughts.

-I’ll bring you something to eat. – Julia suggested, but he didn’t react. There was something in his look that made her uneasy.

Actually, it wasn’t a task for a Roman lady to serve food, but she needed to go out and talk with Octavian. She had already a structure of a plan, but she needed to clear some details with herself.

What Julia didn’t know, all humans are made of stardust. It sounds like a line from a poem, but there is some solid science behind this statement too

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a guide who would tell her how her journey might end, all humans are made of stardust, Ancient Greece, Andromeda and Cassiopeia, Andromeda the princess of Ethiopia, Andromeda's mother Cassiopeia, Athens, Greece, Julia Fabia, king of Ethiopia, land of the Hyperboreans, Marcus Lucius, Mercury, night sky, reading the stars as an aid to navigation, the beautiful wife of Cepheus, Titan Atlas

Athens, Greece

While Marcus Lucius was in rather dark, gloomy mood accompanied by letdown, Julia dreamt about stars. She was always impressed by the Greeks introducing the heavens as a great, solid dome, which could be forged of bronze with fixed, heavenly constellations. She wanted to look at the Titan Atlas, who stood either beneath the axis of heaven in the far north, in the land of the Hyperboreans and had to spin the dome around upon his shoulders. Atlas was responsible for the rise and settle of stars. When she looked at the night sky, she remembered all legends and stories about gods and heroes, about their actions and their fates. She wanted to move and stay somewhere over the rainbow, on a lonely star without any connection to stories about heroes or monsters who received a place in heaven in memorial of their deeds. She appreciated the value of reading the stars as an aid to navigation and looked to the night sky with hopes to find the guidepost. Stars, the tiny, little, sparkling points on the night sky, were like a map within other patterns and motions of the celestial sphere that guided people through the sea of life. She needed a guide who would tell her how her journey might end. She wanted answers or at least a reliable forecast. If she could jump through the time zones and see what was going to happen in two weeks or three months or where she would have been in a year, she would calm down. If Mercury, the speedy messenger god, revolving around the sun, would take her on a ride for an eye wink, she could maybe see how Marcus Lucius’s fate was combined with hers. She wanted him to be somewhere around her, like the twelve constellations of the zodiac were in a direct proximity of each other or like Andromeda, the princess of Ethiopia, and her mother Cassiopeia, the beautiful wife of Cepheus, king of Ethiopia.

What Julia didn’t know, all humans are made of stardust. It sounds like a line from a poem, but there is some solid science behind this statement too: almost every element on Earth was formed at the heart of a star. After the Big Bang, tiny particles bound together to form hydrogen and helium. As time went on, young stars formed when clouds of gas and dust gathered under the effect of gravity, heating up as they became denser. At the stars’ cores, bathed in temperatures of over 10 million degrees C, hydrogen and then helium nuclei fused to form heavier elements within the reaction known as nucleosynthesis. Carbon was made of the dead stars, so we all are made of dead stars. Julia was nearer to her wish than she ever expected.

In the early morning hours, shortly after sunrise, everything was already prepared. Marcus Lucius wasn’t able to sleep, so he arranged the entire preparation. Octavian and Nerva met him while he gave the last orders to Cornelius’s soldiers. He wanted Julia to come back to Naples safely.

Before he left, he checked whether she was already awake. She stood some meters away from a small window, on the other side of the fireplace. The fire played the last time and the last of the wood had already turned into ashes. She wore the same dress as the day before. She looked tired, but somewhat happy. He assumed she was already enjoying the thought of going back to her family.

-I’m leaving as you wish. – He said and Julia was stunned about his neutral tone. It was a clear statement without emotions. She wondered how he could switch off his feelings and came to the conclusion that he apparently didn’t have so many feelings for her. It was obvious to her that she had been persuading herself of another reality, another truth and that it had to stop. Marcus Lucius was not so different to Octavian, who continuously showed his lack of emotions. Marcus Lucius gave up the role of the lovely husband. That was reality.

She wasn’t able to say any goodbye. She didn’t want to show him how much she cared for him, if he didn’t care for her at all. The thought that he was free made her sad, but it was too late to change it. He should live in good and health. He should be saved and never look back at the time spent with her. She didn’t know why it was so hard to let him go. It was supposed to be so much easier, happier, faster. She didn’t say a word and just nodded like a nodding dog.

He didn’t step forward to look her in the eyes. She thought it was better, because he wasn’t able to see her tears appearing already on her surface. Suppressing her tears was painful and exhausting.

Marcus Lucius didn’t come closer, because he wasn’t sure whether he could look her in the eyes and simply leave. He was still confused and so not convinced about behaving in the right way. Everything seemed to be well-orchestrated and correctly ordered. However, he had a feeling he was still missing a crucial detail.

It wasn’t a convenient situation. Neither Julia nor Marcus Lucius felt well and both weren’t sure what to say or how to handle it. Finally, Marcus Lucius left the room and out of the corner of his eye, he saw how Julia fell down to the ground. She smiled, so she wasn’t hurt or injured. She seemed to be relieved and satisfied with the goodbye scene. He hushed and went out to the troop of legionnaires who were going back to Appius.

Life is all about living for one another, so we try to live with those who we love and respect most.

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a very charming being, Ancient Roman sculpture, emperor Hadrian., Faun in Pompeii, Hadrian, homes in Pompeii, House of the Faun, It's not hard to die when you know you have been loved, Life is all about living for one another, Marcus Lucius, Roman soldiers, so we try to live with those who we love and respect most., We need to look after what is most important in life, you already know who I am

The Dancing Faun, Pompeii, located in one of the largest, most luxurious homes in Pompeii. This home, named House of the Faun after this bronze statue, contained many important works of art

-You see, I have nobody, who is important to me so much that I wouldn’t fall asleep knowing that such person is in danger. You’re vulnerable. I am not. – His words were full of confidence.

-It’s not hard to die when you know you have been loved.

-You’re wrong, Marcus Lucius. You’re wrong. It’s even harder than you think. -Pompeius turned around wit furious sparkles in his eyes and left.

The forenoon passed by. The afternoon was over. Evening prowled slowly. The wind that came into Julia’s chamber brought the first scents of spring. Drapes danced in the room as four guards brought Marcus Lucius away from the chamber. He was let through the dining room, where he used to eat meals in company of Julia and Nerva. He was pushed to go further and finally. He stood in the yard, where he used to practice his skills. There, the stranger was waiting for him. Marcus Lucius saluted.

-Now, you already know who I am, soldier. – Hadrian smiled.

Marcus Lucius didn’t response.

-Please, sit down and let’s talk. If you don’t want to tell me anything, then don’t. – He made a short pause. – I sent you Julia. I give you my word that she won’t get hurt by anyone.

Marcus Lucius sighed and sit down next to the emperor. His tension decreased, but didn’t disappear.

-She is a very charming being. – The emperor continued quietly. – Life is all about living for one another, so we try to live with those who we love and respect most. – He sighed deeply and stopped talking for a while. He breathed the air deeply and savoured the moment. – As I became the emperor, I wished to have a period of peace. I don’t want any further, unnecessary battles or wars. The empire needs to rest. We, soldiers, need to rest. We need to look after what is most important in life…

Read the book Vengeance and remission for free

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Appius’s legionnaires, book Vengeance and remission, free book, Julia Fabia, Marcus Lucius, read for free, Roman Empire, Roman Empire in Britain, Roman soldier, Sample from Vengeance and Remission, son of the great warrior Maximus, The Roman Empire, Vengeance and remission

We’ve decided to make the book for free, so feel free to download it from Smashwords in your favourite format and send me your feedback :-)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/534954

It is a story about a Roman soldier, Marcus Lucius, son of the great warrior Maximus, who protects his friends (Appius, Octavian) and falls in love in Julia Fabia, while he is on the way to revenge his killed wife, Decima. It’s a story with many risky actions, intrigues and it’s about friendship, loyalty and of course love. It’s set in the times of the emperor Hadrian.

Review by Emilia Wagner (2013) :
I read it and I liked it a lot, but LOVEFOOL Saga is for me even better. What I was surprised of was the end. There was a lot of action, mysteries and intrigues. I loved it. I was like the BBC series about the emperor Claudius. I think everybody would be pleased to see it as a movie (like Gladiator with Russel Crowe) or a series. It’s very good written, fluently and lyrically. I loved the battle scene. It was impressive! It sounded like music! Like a symphony! Awesome! There is a lot of historical background, but it’s not depressing.